


You Are the Moon

by tyellen_is_dreaming



Series: All the Light that You Possess [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Don't Even Know Why, Gen, How Do I Tag, I cried writing this, Mentions of Death, Mentions of Murder, Mentions of homophobia, Orphans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-21 18:58:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11363601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tyellen_is_dreaming/pseuds/tyellen_is_dreaming
Summary: Alistair didn't consider himself a crybaby. But he did cry a lot on his life.Five times Alistair cried of sadness and one he cried of happiness.





	You Are the Moon

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my God. I finally finished this.  
> I love those characters. They've been with me for years. So I finally decided to put then on a story.  
> I know Alistair suffered a lot, but he's gonna have a good future, don't worry.  
> ... Or will he?

**1- Fire (9 years old)**

When Alistair turned the corner, he stopped dead in his tracks.  
There was a commotion in front of his house. He could see all of his neighbors standing there, together with people he never saw before. He didn’t think much about that, though.  
What really made him worry were the big, red trucks closing the street.  
His breath hitched, and he started walking again. Alistair stepped through the mass of bodies, pushing everyone out of the way, until he reached the bars blocking people out. He didn’t even think before passing under it.  
“Hey, little guy! Go back! It isn’t safe here!” a man said, coming in his direction with the palms of his hands in his direction, like he was considering pushing him back. His yellow uniform made Alistair tremble.  
“I know that.” his voice was shaky. “But that’s my house.”  
“Oh.” the firefighter seemed to think a little. “I think you should-”  
“What started the fire?” he asked, interrupting him. He must’ve been caught off guard, because he immediately looked to a point on the floor not too far away from them. There, gallons of gasoline sat randomly on the floor, where somebody had probably thrown them. “Oh.” he repeated.  
The firefighter seemed at a loss of words. He was moving his hands all around as he tried to find a way to answer the smart kid.  
“It wasn’t accidental…” Alistair whispered to himself, frowning. He looked at the man. “Did anyone survive?”  
“We think not.” he answered after a pause. “Anyone but a baby.”  
“Where’s my brother?” he asked immediately, tears prickling at his eye.  
The man pointed, with a strange face, at an ambulance not too far away, probably set in case someone was hurt. Ignoring everyone in his way, the kid marched up to it. He batted the nurse’s arm away, taking his little brother from his spot on a safety chair and cuddling him closely.  
Jake’s screams cut through the night. It was a wonder the older hadn’t heard him before, but he guessed the sounds of talk and sirens donned him out.  
He sat down with him, singing the same lullaby his mother had sung him over and over again.  
And as the policeman approached them to tell the bad news, Alistair started crying. He was just a nine years old child, now basically alone in the world, who had only his brother and his memories to remember himself he once had had a family.

**2- Fight (13 years old)**

When Alistair came down the steps, his hands were balled in fists.  
Sitting there, on the sidewalk, with a big cheshire cat, was no other than Alexander Roncalli.  
“Hey, Al! How’s been life?”  
“What are you doing here?” he asked through gritted teeth.  
“Uh, well… I’m here to see you?”  
“No, you’re not. You didn’t even bother calling me or send a letter or God knows what for over four fucking years.” Alex had the decency to flinch at the swear. He remembered the fact that Al hated them, and that he would only ignore them in case the situation was bad enough. He never heard he say any. “You didn’t even bother to talk to me when my family died.”  
Alex was silent as he watched Alistair descent in a spiral of anger and rage. The orphan had been at his house, not so far away, when someone set fire to his house. When he tried calling the other boy the next day, a pre-recorded voice announced him the number didn’t exist. He was shocked, of course. He had called that number uncountable times! He spent so many nights just chatting with the blue eyed boy on the phone. He tried calling again, and again, afraid he got the number wrong every time, even though he knew it was right, but the result was the same.  
When he asked to be taken there, to talk to his friend, because he was sure his family could take care of him, they told him there was no one living at that residency.  
And now, the same boy who abandoned him sat by the steps of his new house, after so many years, wanting to talk?!  
“You promised me you would help me, you would protect me, and would never leave me. Guess which ones of those promises weren’t broken.”  
“The last one?” he asked hopefully, blue eyes shining in the sun.  
Alistair felt his eyes fill with tears.  
When they went to school together, before everything happened, everyone would call Alex an angel. He was pretty, carefree, kind, sentimental. Would worry about everyone and put himself lastly. He would always think with his heart rather than his brain. Alistair, on the other side, was a scientist. He was sharp, rigid, hard, calculist. Would study every situation and find the most useful solution. He would always think with his brain and ignore his heart.  
They balanced each other perfectly. They would banter sometimes, but when they had to work together they would be the best pair in class. Both were smart, and both had qualities where the other had flaws. When they became best friends, no one even blinked.  
“No! None of them! You broke them all!” he was crying now. The taste of salt in his tongue when he shouted was a sad reminder of their friendship. “You didn’t care! Still don’t! I bet it was you who told your ‘dad’s strange friends’ that they were home and I wasn’t! I bet it was you who let them be killed!”  
“What are you talking about?!” Alex had risen up, voice the same level as his. “I didn’t even talk to them! I was scared of them!”  
That started the fight. The two started screaming at each other, commentaries getting worse and worse, until the orphanage workers had to drag Alistair back inside before things got physical.  
He went to his bedroom, falling on the mattress in a mess. Jake peeked from under his covers and then walked over to him. He sat besides the older, and Al ran a hand through his hair. He let his mouth open and the lyrics of that lullaby echoed in the empty room.  
And as his brother curled around him, he felt the tears falling. He was just a thirteen years old boy, now without friends, with just an old letter and his memories to remember himself he once had met his other half.

**3- Freedom (18 years old)**

When Alistair took off his tie, the papers were falling to the floor.  
He spent nine years of his life waiting for this moment. The moment when he’d become an adult, would get away from that orphanage, from the bullying of those kids, and take his brother to live on a better place.  
Or it should’ve been.  
They didn’t let him take Jake with him. They accused him of being insane and dangerous, insinuated he would hurt the younger. They said it was his fault that he was the way he was. That he could manipulate him, and use it to his advantage. A big load of bullshit.  
He had asked over and over again to let Jake go. But, like everything in his life, it didn’t work.  
He ended up taking the orphanage to court. Not that would make much difference, as he would still have to wait months, if not years, for his brother.  
He got an apartment near the orphanage. It was small, and dirty, and the walls were too thin. There were mice crawling out of holes in the wall and cockroaches behind the refrigerator. The landlord was a drug dealer. His neighbor? Running away from the police. The old lady living downstairs? A professional assassin.  
But he couldn’t care less, as the window on his bedroom was right across from his brother’s window.  
He leaned over the windowsill every night, to shout goodnight to Jake and watch as he got into bed. It was comforting to see his brother still so happy, when he had a pile of papers on his table that he would need to read before the morning came.  
That day, he had gotten ready for a meeting with his lawyer. They sat down on the table at the little cafe and Alistair repassed everything he had read the night before, expecting the man to be able to direct him to the right way, like he had been doing already.  
He got more than a little surprised when he started shouting at his face.  
Apparently, he had heard the rumors. The lawyer told him, between swears and offensive comments, that he would never be a good guardian. He used the death of his parents and even the fights he had gotten into to protect Jake as justification. Concluding, he said it wasn’t logic to leave him to take care of the other. He even added, with a colorful amount of comments, that he was nowhere near fit to being someone’s legal guardian if he lived in the place he lived.  
Alistair bit down on his lips to not make things worse. He took his backpack and fled from the scene.  
The place he lived was quite good, in all honesty. His neighbors never bothered him, really. Quite the opposite: his landlord gave him more time to pay the rent without thinking twice; his neighbor had some great stories about the police officers of the region; the old lady loved to watch horror movies with him. He didn’t have any reason to complain.  
He tried getting another lawyer. Of course no one wanted to take the case of a guy who didn’t even have money for proper clothes or dinner.  
He ended up going back home, tired both physically and emotionally. On the way, some guy pushed him to the floor, laughing at him. He knows this guy from the orphanage. He hoped his most prized possessions, an old cellphone, good only for calls, and a laptop that almost didn’t work anymore weren’t broken.  
With his head ringing from the hit to the floor, he kept going home. The cellphone, at least, still worked, for his relief. He adjusted the backpack on the shoulder that wasn’t hurting, and marched on.  
Yelled and laughed at twice weren’t exactly the best way to end the day. As the stars came out, he finally got to his apartment complex. The landlord look at him with worry, while the old lady asked him to go visit her later. With a small smile he put his shoes by the side of the door, threw the stupid, dirty backpack on his bed and took the papers.  
He tried reading it again, but his vision was getting blurred. Letting the papers fall carelessly while starting to get ready for bed, he noticed the light on the window across from his. He leaned on the window and saw Jake waiting for him at the orphanage. That small thought fueled his heart with melted sadness. He let the words for the lullaby started flowing through him.  
And as his brother tucked himself into bed, his tears finally came free. He was just an eighteen years old guy, now without a way, with just some papers and a broken promise to remember he once had a chance..  


**4- Fear (21 years old)**

When Alistair arrived, it was too late.  
He almost forgot he had a cousin over the years he spent at the orphanage. Or, rather, cousins.  
His uncle and aunt hadn’t wanted to take he and his brother when his parents had died. They always had an aversion towards his side of the family, something related to his parents’ choice at a more liberal life. Because of that, he couldn’t remember the last time he saw the two girls.  
He was way more surprised, though, when Jane, his older cousin, called him. He hadn’t talked to her in years, and had just recently moved to his new house. Between working, taking care of Jake and college he almost didn’t have time to even socialize with people. Knowing she had his phone easily, like it was nothing, was scary. But the scarier part was what she told him.  
He had taken his travel backpack, told Jake to not talk with strangers and set off.  
Jane had a younger sister just like him, the same age as his brother. Opal was a brilliant girl, for what he gathered from the newspaper he got on the way. Their side of the family was famous. Really influent businessmen or something. He just knew she got really good grades and won a dance competition in some city not far from where he was currently living.  
Alistair wouldn’t have bothered with them, honestly, and if he didn’t know what was going on in the family he would say they were your typical rich family. But then, Jane had dropped a bomb on his shoulders: Opal had just discovered she was a lesbian.  
While he couldn’t understand everything, he got an overview of the situation: she got a crush on another girl, someone discovered, and the gossip went through the city like wildfire. A thing he could remember clearly about his uncle was that he was a conservative prick.  
“They might throw her in the streets.” Jane had said, in rushed and desperate tones. “Or they might send her to a reforming school for, as they say, ‘this type of people’. Or they might punish her themselves, what will be the worse thing!” she made a pause and he heard paper rustling. “I got her matriculated on a school on a town far from here. I know a guy who has a house there. It’s empty. If you could take her away, protect her and let her grow safely…” she held back a sob. “You can have the house. You’ll just have to pay the bills. I’m sorry for asking you to move again so soon, but, please, help us.”  
He would never say no.  
That’s why he was rushing, going over the speed limit. He wasn’t one for breaking laws, but that was way more important. The sun was setting when he finally found the house.  
“You stupid beast!”  
Alistair watched in horror as his uncle slapped the face of a young girl with force. She fell to the floor, leaves getting caught in her blonde hair. She raised her head and locked eyes with him. Her brown eyes were filled with tears.  
Even if he saw her as she was a baby, and he, himself, a kid, he wouldn’t ever be able to deny the similarities between them.  
“You’re gonna burn in the depths of hell!” his uncle continued, getting closer to her slowly. “You can’t run away! I’m gonna do everything I can to teach you a lesson!”  
He kept rambling, but Alistair saw when Opal reached for a suitcase fallen besides her. He opened the door of the passenger's side. In a blur of color and screams, Opal jumped in on the car and he took off.  
It was only halfway through the path that she finally broke. The tears fell from her eyes like a waterfall. He stopped on the side, turned to her, and gave her a hug.  
He started singing that same lullaby from years ago, that he still sang to Jake when he had a nightmare. She held onto his shirt like her life depended on it. He felt himself start crying.  
And as the stars appeared on the dark sky over their heads, the tears he cried mixed with hers. He was just a twenty-one years old man, now with another family member to take care of, with just a girl and his memories to remember he once had hope.

**5- Forgiving (25 years old)**

When Alistair closed the door, the phone was already dealing.  
“Hello? Who’s-”  
“I need your help.” he cut the other person shortly.  
He could hear the hesitance on their voice.  
“Al, what do you need?”  
Alex’s voice washed over him like a wave. His voice was always so calm, so pristine, like it had an immeasurable power behind it. Alistair started believing on it when he was five.  
When they had fought, over thirteen years ago, he thought they would never see the boy again. But then, he got close to losing his job, and decided it was time to change the scenery. He went to a college that once offered him a spot as a teacher a while back, desperate to keep money on his bank account. He had two teenagers to keep alive and well after all.  
He had entered the school with a sense of confidence. It felt right, in a way he couldn’t explain. He just felt like he belonged.  
Until he run straight into someone.  
“Oh! Sorry, I didn’t see you. I…” the man trailed off.  
Alistair stared deeply into too familiar blue eyes.  
They jumped apart like lightning hit them. Alex looked away, biting his lip. Al stared at him. The little boy had grown. He had softer features now, somehow. Once long hair cut short and brushed back, giving him the appearance of a kid whose parents wanted him to look fancy. Baggy clothes were substituted by an expensive looking suit. The tie had silly, small, smiling emoji faces against a burgundy background. He noticed the quite big quantity of colorful bracelets that he used to find on his arms weren’t there. The eyes, though, had the same light as always.  
“I was hoping it was just a coincidence…” Alex whispered, looking sadly at a trash bin. He took a deep breath. “You know, I’ve-”  
“Don’t start.”Alistair cut him off. “I’m here for business.” He wrinkled his nose. “Or, rather, for work.”  
“I know. I’m the school counselor.” the older said, fidgeting on his spot nervously. “I’m the one supposed to show you the school.”  
“Oh…” Al felt slow, like he was walking on jelly. He knew that he, himself, was altering his thought process, to prevent a breakdown. But that didn’t make it even a bit funnier.  
They fell into an uncomfortable silence. Alex stared at his feet as Alistair fuzilated him with his eyes.  
“Well,” the blue eyed man pulled at the collar of his undershirt, “we can cut a big part of this, can’t we?” He looked like someone turned his power on. “I know your name. You know my name. I can see you still retain some of your childhood self.” His lips trembled slight. “So let’s get straight into it. This is our university, the well-known and marvellous and amazing and perfect and-”  
“Stop exaggerating.” As much as he tried, Al couldn’t stop a small smile from appearing on his face.  
The trip went without much trouble. Alex showed him the school, doing what any other person with his job would do. Alistair listened, asking the right or necessary questions. He even allowed a laugh to come out at one of the older’s jokes.  
The school was amazing, yes, and he would love to teach there. Or study. The Chemistry lab was impressive. It got him out of the bat.  
But the idea of having to work with Alex, having to see him every day and having to stay in the same place as him for hours…  
By the end of the visit, he thanked Alex politely, took the pamphlets the man had shown him, and started in the direction of the door, already pulling on his jacket and getting his phone out of his pocket to call a cab.  
“Al.”  
He froze. It was that voice, the one voice he hoped Alex had forgotten. The voice that made it hard for Alistair to sleep at night sometimes. The voice he would hear at two in the morning after silence for the whole day. The voice that would make anyone think he was weak, a crybaby, but that Al thought meant he was stronger than some people will ever be.  
Alex’s broken voice.  
“I know that you still hate me… And yes, I do remember all you’ve said when we were kids. But, I just want you to know… I care about you, and always have cared. I know that if you’ve come here, so far from where you live, that you’re having some problems. If you ever need me, for anything, really…” He pushed a piece of paper on Alistair’s hand. “Call me.”  
They stared at each other’s eyes. Blue ones full of hope; Brown ones full of sadness.  
Al stepped back, turned and walked away without looking back.  
He spent the next month considering throwing the number out, but never being able to. He read and read and read it so many times that he accidentally memorized it. He even rewrote it when he thought he’d lost the paper.  
When Jake asked him if he would call, he didn’t answer. Opal asked who was man who gave him his number, but Jake told her to don’t ask too much. She agreed with a worried pout. Alistair calmed her by saying he was an old friend.  
He wondered if he should call, just to let him see Jake again. He remembered how his angelic friend loved his little brother.  
Then, it all came down in a blink of an eye.  
He understood some people didn’t like homosexuals. Hell, the fact he was still taking care of Opal even after her father tried to take Al to court was a big example of how some people stood with them and others against them. But that didn’t excuse the things his boss, or ex-boss, did.  
He couldn’t even breathe as he got home. He cooked for the teenagers and waited, without muttering a word, until they went to sleep. Then, he rushed to the bathroom.  
He hadn’t noticed he was trembling until he felt his teeth clanging. He could only hear silence on the other end of the line and he worried Alex had cut off until he called his name.  
“I’m not going anywhere, Al.” was the answer.  
Taking a deep breath to try and put himself in control, Alistair got ready for what he was going to say.  
“We’re gonna be kicked out.” he heard a gasp and rustling from the angel’s side of the line. “And I’ve lost my job. A-and they won’t have foo-od. And-d clothes. And school sup-plies. And a home to go ba-ack to. And-”  
“Al.” The softness of his voice made Alistair stop. He couldn’t stop sobbing, even if he wasn’t crying. “I can help you with whatever you need. A house? I have rooms to spare. Money? I receive way much more than I need. Someone to take care of you?” Alex’s voice didn’t leave space for argument. “I’m here. I’ve been here since we met. You don’t need to carry all this weight alone, Al. I just want to help you.” He knew Alex was crying now. “Please…”  
Alistair couldn’t hold anymore. The tears were falling fast. He leaned his head on the door, looking at the empty space in the middle of the bathroom. He was sobbing and crying, but he couldn’t feel anything. He remembered of a time where things were easier, running around with Alex all his obligations, scraping his knees the only problem.  
He started singing the lullaby. After some seconds, he finally heard Alex voice joining him. He felt like he was nine all over again, leaning again the blue eyed boy on his bed and listening to his mother as she put them to sleep.  
And as the words went on, his tears came out like a flow. He was just a twenty-five years old man, now without idea of what to do, with just a friend and family to remember he once had everything in his life.

**+1- Fondness (26 years old)**

When Alistair noticed the soda can, the screams had started.  
He was sitting on the comfiest sofa he had ever felt, engulfed on blankets and pillows. He was on the verge of sleep. The laptop, forgotten on his lap, had half of an essay ready. Not that it would be finished anytime soon, since the “kids” started screaming.  
One year went by since they started living with Alex. Jake and Opal had gotten into the university where the older two worked. They made a lot of friends and, consequently, Al did too.  
With the combined money of two adults and ten teenagers they were able to rent a renovated warehouse, where they created a space to attend all their hobbies.  
Currently, he was in the middle of the warehouse, waiting for the chaos to ensue. Jake, Tyronne, Tom and Rachel were playing videogames on the computer window. Melody, Chris and Benjamin were doing a karaoke competition on the small stage. Wilbur, Opal and Madeline were discussing fashion on the seam corner. Alistair knew this peace wouldn’t stay for long.  
So, when Alex came down from the mezzanine with soda cans for both of them, he didn’t notice. Alex poked him with the can.  
“Al? You asked for it, so now take it!”  
“No, I’m waiting.” he swatted the other’s hand away, eyes alternating between three different points of the place.  
“You made me go all the way up there just to refuse it I’m hurt, Alistair.”  
“Oh, God, stop it.” he pouted at Alex. “What a whiny baby.”  
Screams broke out behind him. He turned just in time to see Rachel kick her brother and Jake out of the sofa, Tom evicting the same fate by jumping back. Not far from them, Benjamin held Melody back while Chris ran to the bathroom laughing hysterically. On the opposite side of the warehouse, Opal and Madeline tried to suffocate the other boy with a piece of cloth.  
“Oh, damn. I missed the break.” he leaned back against Alex’s arm. “I’m blaming you for that.”  
“Sure thing.” Alistair could feel his body shaking with laughter. “Do you think we should help Will? The girls are gonna murder him.”  
“I’m more worried about Chris. He got Melody mad, his life is on the line.”  
“Well, at least Rachel ended victorious. No murder on that side, just hurt prides.”  
He chuckled lightly. Al didn’t need to look at him to know his eyes were dripping with adoration as he looked at them. It made him smile, knowing the angel was happy.  
Alistair breathed in the smell of the old warehouse: a mix of everyone that he loved. He found himself drifting off to sleep, the feeling of peace, found even between the screams, a heavy blanket over him.  
Right before his conscious slipped, he noticed something that made his heart almost explode. He had a full family, again. Somewhere safe, with people who will protect him and his brother and his cousin. He couldn’t stop letting some tears out.  
And if he noticed Alex start singing the lullaby, from long time ago, he would never comment on it.  
“Shadows all around you as you surface from the dark…”


End file.
